Emotions. Our death.Betrayed? No. In all reallity I screwed myself. Scars? Still there to help me.Friends?There. but, for how long? Who knows how to act anymore. All i can say is listen to your heart. I wont lose it all cause im afraid to be in control of my life. so, I'll wait. It'll be okay. I'll be fine.
He said it all. All I ever wanted to hear. now the words arent good enough. The world. Exstience doesnt seem right. Everyones moved on. Why can't I?
I had a dream last night. A dream of baby parts, blood and a church. Liz thinks im losing it. am I? Maybe. A girl was in my dream. she was watching me. She knew my every move. I don't think she liked me very much. Its okay. I know whats its like to be unliked.
Lost ten lbs in the last 2 weeks. Drugs, loss of appetite.
My do i have the constant need to feel mighty? Ever since 7th grade. It won't happen again because of emotions.
- but of course you have no clue what im talking about.
I won't let it build up.
His friends tell him its not worth it. I know this. I can feel it. Noone there likes me. Thats why i refuse to go there. I couldn't tell him how i thought. I didn't tell him anything. over a yr. all over now. Caues of my stupidity.
I dreamed me away tonight. then woke up and realized I cant hide for the rest of my life. I had all the time to alter my life. To make up my mind. I had cover all the reality of it to make me feel better. Now noone knows how i feel. I had the time to find out who i was. I had to screw it up. But thats just me the Queen of Screwing up. If i had the the will to take that pain away I'd do it. But i dont. im forced to live with it. no matter how hard it gets.
This guy tells me how pretty I am. I cant listen. I block it out. Whats he mean by that? Pretty is all i'll ever be. I'll give up on emotions, Its okay. I'll be fine.
I've lost it all.
Now, to get lost in it all.